It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.

When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.

I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm.

If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.

I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.

Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.

And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.

If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.

I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.

I don’t understand why people really get upset about something that doesn’t affect them at all.

Don’t have kids until you’re ready. And when you do have them, have them all the way. They aren’t like some Cadillac that you can turn back into the dealership after three years.

Life is easier lived when lived for others.

In insisting that personal habit and political action be one and the same, absolutist moralizing limits the possibilities of both.

The aim of education is the knowledge not of facts but of values.

Leadership is one of the most observed and least understood phenomena on earth.

I don't really feel any different when I get up on stage.

From the idea that the self is not given to us, I think there is only one practical consequence: we have to create ourselves as a work of art.

There is no rigorous definition of rigor.

All war is deception.

My love is unique. No one can rival her, for she is the most beautiful girl alive. Just by passing, she has stolen my heart.