It would be unforgivable to use the role I have, such as it is, to inflict my incoherent, half-baked view of the world on people. That would be illegitimate and unacceptable and I should be fired.

The early bird may get the worm, but its the second mouse that gets the cheese.

Scepticism is a necessary and vital part of the journalist's toolkit. But when scepticism becomes cynicism it can close off thought and block the search for truth.

It's not just politicians. Any spokesman for a vested interest is well schooled in how to say what it is they wish to say, which may bear no relation at all to what you've asked them.

I voted against Gerald Nabarro in my first general election, but my defiance made no difference. If you had put a Conservative rosette on a mustachioed hamster, it would have been elected.

I got fed up of listening to bollocks

Sharing holiday snaps on social media is an act of arrogant vanity.

Television bosses should stop insulting the public's intelligence by assuming we are all idiots.

I hate the word 'sneering', I can't help the way my face looks.

The defining problem of contemporary television is trust: Can you believe what you see on television, does television treat people fairly, is it healthy for society?

It seems to me that the way to remove people's cynicism is, when asked a straight question, to give a straight answer.

What was taken by force, can only be restored by force.

Make winners out of every business in your company. Don't carry losers.

In their sympathies, children feel nearer animals than adults

Of course it was Mamma who both stopped my career and crystallized my determination to resume it.

If you want to follow your dreams, you have to say no to all the alternatives.

To all that is used-up, and to all the muffled and dumb creatures in the world's full reserve, the unsayable sums, joyfully add yourself, and cancel the count.

If your mind isn't open, keep your mouth shut too.

I went to the Westminster College for Men in Missouri, which is what it was called back then, and transferred to the University of Denver where I ultimately got my degree.

People say it takes 10 years to change your life. It's bullshit. It takes a moment, a second. But it may take you 10 years to get to the point of finally saying, "Enough."

Down in the bottom of my childhood my father stands laughing.