Its almost Thanksgiving! A day when you get to hear your extended family use racial slurs for groups are not taking away their jobs.

I finally understand that it’s okay to be a little afraid of things but that obsessing over them does not mean you have any more control over what you fear.

People said to me, "You know, when you record a special, you're going to regret it. The one thing you'll regret because you're a comic is you'll think of better tags."

I realized I need a certain kind of chemistry and a certain kind of look to be into someone, and like 1 percent of the population has it.

I find it actually the height of romance to legally bind yourself to someone because you're really taking care of someone, and letting them take care of you. I actually have no cynicism about that.

Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.

Sometimes I look [ on trolls on Twitter], but even one ignorant comment can make me go, "Oh god."

I am just really focused in on what I love doing, but I would be a moron to not take some of my natural talent - I'm not saying I'm that talented, but I have enough acting and writing talent to go.

What I found out about myself was I am not someone who doesn't believe in marriage.

I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, "This is the best way for people to find out about me.

That's the same thing that is making me like George W. Bush. "He was nice. I know he was nice. He didn't know what he was doing but he was nice."

We all mess up. It's what we learn from our mistakes that matters.

If you invest in your critics more than you invest in your dreams, you have successfully invested in your failure.

I sensed my chance and embraced the telecom business. I started marketing telephones, answering/fax machines under the brand name Beetel, and the company picked up really fast.

That's the greatest applause that any person will ever receive in their life when it comes from their peers

Cleveland is really good about recognizing its artists because of the Arts Council.

People in towns are always preoccupied. 'Have I missed the bus? Have I forgotten the potatoes? Can I get across the road?

I always would be happy to make a character even more unlikable, but you know, there's a limit and if you go there, you get into a very different kind of movie, man.

For the first few years we paid all the bills first and divided what was left as salary. Sometimes that was $50 a week.

I want to talk about political and economic fairy tales.

I don't see people as groups, I see them as individuals.