Its consistency of what comedy can do and what comedy can be.Growing up with that show [The Simpsons] shaped my worldview.

I'm a lurker and a creep. Women don't like me because I sleep standing up, like a horse.

I'm insecure, and I need the validation of strangers to feel whole. So, I need every single racist 12-year-old on the Internet to like me, or I don't feel complete.

A hole is a hole has always been my motto.

I think everyone is bi, right? There's no such thing as sexual orientation, or race, or gender. Those are all obsolete man-made concepts.

I will smoke crack before I die. I want to see what all the hubbub is about.

I can't tell if the world is worse now or if we just have more cameras. There are cameras everywhere, so now the world knows how bad the world is.

I think we give human beings too much credit. We're primates, you know.

The president is the country's scapegoat more than the country's leader; the president has as much power as we think the president has. Whoever has the most money is the puppet master.

Do you think we're going to hit a tipping point and the world's going to end?

I'm an Aries. I need everybody to like me.

Remember never to text and drive, it's bad grammar, even if you have a deadline. You might cross the line and dead may be your destination. Think about it!!

Jenna slipped in wearing an outfit that I can only describe as Hello Kitty Goes Goth.

It is not hard to feel like an outsider. I think we have all felt like that at one time or another.

In New York, they like winners. They don't like second place.

The anger I have about high school - which I do have because they discouraged every interest I ever had; actually I call it anti-education - that anger led to my career.

Jazz musicians are the coolest people on the planet. Can I have some cool?

Ten years ago, if you asked me where I'd be now, I'd have said F-ing dead. But I'm not dead. I have an awesome life. And I'm just very grateful. That's the one thing I try to convey. Gratitude.

I intend to lead my party, which is the only party that has a serious policy on the No. 1 priority of the people and that is the economy.

Servant leadership teaches us that you have to lay your cards on the table.