Jack Benny, Fred Allen. Their jokes were wonderful. It takes skill to be funny. The timing of Jack Benny was so fine. It is a form of genius for which we should be grateful.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

What are you, my father now?""No, but I'm someone who will always love you.""Always?" I question, because even without jealousy, my relationship with Flynn was bound to hurt him."Forever.

I believe we can incentivize more affordable health care in general by better regulating insurance and creating meaningful competition for health care services.

It all depends on you. If you want it to be different,it will be different. Don't look at the world with your eyes but with your heart.

My confidence allows me to do things my way and help people make a decision. People like the idea of me just being me.

Loving someone is a loss of freedom - but one doesn't think of it as loss because one gains so much else.

Unused to the situations in which I find myself, and embarassed by the slightest difficulties, I seldom discover, till too late, how I ought to act.

That was the first time I knew I loved him.

Finding the meaning of life is easy. Simply get a dictionary, go to the 'L' section, and find the word 'life.'

It's all these pundits, all these consultants, and the candidates, as if they're in a bubble leaving democracy off-limits.

We are not here to sell a parcel of boilers and vats, but the potentiality of growing rich beyond the dreams of avarice.