Jacob is a German Shepherd. (I have never understood why they aren't called German Sheepdogs. What do the Germans call shepherds?)

Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come

I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what you think it is you want to hear.

There are many mysteries in old age but the greatest, surely, is this: in those adverts for walk-in bathtubs, why doesn't all the water gush out when you get in?

Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.

Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.

Malta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.

Being a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.

All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.

A humorist tells himself every morning, "I hope it's going to be a rough day." When things are going well, it's much harder to make the right jokes.

If where you are is worthwhile then where you are from doesn't matter.

Read. As much as you can. As deeply and widely and nourishingly and ­irritatingly as you can. And the good things will make you remember them, so you won't need to take notes.

Unfortunately, you are far more likely to be harmed or die prematurely as a direct result of modern society than you are from any form of terrorism.

We have an obligation to feel guilty." The words came out of her lips as if she were reciting an elegy. "Guilty. Because we kill the ones we love.

Science gives man what he needs.But magic gives him what he wants.

On a fulcrum in my chest, grief and relief are balanced in equal measure.

Nearly every historic fruit and vegetable variety once found in the United States has disappeared.

The world is full of people who think different is synonymous with wrong.

Each thought is a nail that is driven In structures that cannot decay; And the mansion at last will be given To us as we build it each day.

All those things that are now field to be of the greatest antiquity were at one time new; what we to-day hold up by example will rank hereafter as precedent.