Jane-Sweetie, we've talked about your weight-" my mother began. I'm only eight years old," I said. "How about I promise to be anorexic later?

Good memories are like charms...Each is special. You collect them, one by one, until one day you look back and discover they make a long, colorful bracelet.

Your mind creates your reality. If you expect nothing, you open up the universe to give you options. If you expect the worst, you usually get it.

A friend of mine once defined love as finding someone you can talk to late into the night

Some poeple just don't have what it takes to appreciate a cookie.

Oh great. Yoda captured us.

Who, last time I'd checked, was still on our official archenemy list. (Yes, we have to keep a list. It's kind of sad.)

They call me, The Sharkalator

At that moment I had no mind to change, or not change, or throw against the nearest wall.

I don't get a chance to be funny with the thrillers. I like to be funny, and I think I am really funny. So with 'Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life', it was fun to let loose.

I had to give him props, but how annoying of him to be a hero when I was trying so hard to dislike him. It was downright selfish.

All great and successful people stayed alone with themselves to develop their gift

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.

I could really use someone else's smile today.

I am not meant to be alone and without you who understands.

I have been blessed with working with the best in the business.

When the Sun shrinks to a dull red dwarf, it will not be dying. It will just be starting to live and everything that has gone before will merely be a prelude to its real history.

I want the people to work less for the government and more for themselves. I want them to have the rewards of their own industry.

Up until I became a father, it was all about self-obsession. But then I learned exactly what it's all about: the delight of being a servant.

Different fights bring out different things. I consider myself a seasoned professional. I have done things in the gym that have not come out yet. People would be amazed if they saw me train.

As long as designers want to dress me, photographers want to take my picture and companies think my face will help their products, then I won't go anywhere until they're done with me.