Jas, whatever Tom has under his trousers is between you and him.

Your soul shines through even if you haven't got mascara on

When girls walk home we put on lippy and makeup. We chat. Sometimes we pretend to be hunchbacks. But that is it. Perfectly normal behavior.

Jas, you are three hundred miles away. You would have to have nunga-nungas the size of France for Jock to be able to rest his hand on them.

A nod is as good as a wink to a blind badger.

I will not have him in my brain;there is no room for anyone else in the cakeshop of agony. it's crowded enough in there already.

I've never had anyone say they love me before. Libby lobes me, that is true, but there is something a bit menacing about the way she says it.

What in the name of Hitler's panties and matching bra set was she talking about?

He who laughs last laughs the laughiest.

Dad has brought me a cup of tea in bed this morning! I said, 'Vati, why are you waking me up in the middle of the night? Are you on fire?

Mum said, "It is the thought that counts." And I said, "I know, which is why I am ringing the authorities right now. Anyone who thinks like she does should be locked up out of harm's way.

Whether rich people make money or lose money, they get no sympathy from the public.

I love the solitary, romantic idea of writing.

Economic growth without investment in human development is unsustainable - and unethical.

Pierre [from Dude, Where's My Car?] could be the best thing I've ever done. When you distill it down to a minute and a half of work, that may be my finest effort.

The law is a sort of hocus-pocus science.

Like Leibniz's possible worlds, most men are only equally entitled pretenders to existence. There are few existences.

Be doers of the word and not hearers only, deluding yourselves.

If we're not enjoying what we've got...and even if we do get 'more,' we won't enjoy that, either.

Beauty is only skin deep, and the world is full of thin skinned people.

…maybe the whole Internet will simply become like Facebook: falsely jolly, fake-friendly, self-promoting, slickly disingenuous….” - Zadie Smith