Jason said, "Yes. Gerard T. Giraffe." What does the 'T' stand for?" 'The.

Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony.

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal.

Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without.

If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure.

Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them.

Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo.

We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.

Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code?

When we constantly ask for miracles, we're unraveling the fabric of the world. A world of continuous miracles would not be a world, it would be a cartoon.

Starting and profitably running a business is not just some achievement, it is heroism.

A dream conceived from the inside-out eventually becomes reality. But a dream desired from the outside-in is subject to spoil and tragedy.

There's such a rich history in 'SNL' of political humor, and I think audience members expect that from us.

All art, like all love, is rooted in heartache.

I don't think having separate bathrooms is a key to a successful marriage, if you love one another.

Listening to what people in other countries are saying and trying to understand how they perceive their place in the world is essential to a future of peace and security at home and abroad.

You might 'write from the heart,' but you'd better polish with your brain.

I think its very important to not be afraid to experience joy in the middle of sorrow.

They say 'He cannot be found'. Something that cannot be 'found' is what I desire.

I love to go to a regular movie theater, especially when the movie is a big crowd-pleaser. It's much better watching a movie with 500 people making noise than with just a dozen.