Jazz is a beautiful woman whose older brother is a policeman.

In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed.

The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one.

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.

Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.

If you can't stand yourself, neither can anybody else!

The best thing about humour is that it shows people they are not alone.

A great NOW will be a great WAS! A bad NOW will always be a bad WAS, and all you can hope for is a Great GONNA BE!

If you have no tragedy, you have no comedy. Crying and laughing are the same emotion. If you laugh too hard, you cry. And vice versa.

People come up to me and they thank me: 'I thank you for the many, many hours of laughter.'

Every language has its own music.

God takes two and make them one but satan takes one and make it two.

Amongst the minds of animals that of man leads, not as a demigod from another planet, but as a king from the same race.

You can't get rid of a part that makes you you and be happy.

I'm a big Pacino fan. He's a great actor: so much passion and intensity.

Never forget who you are, little star.

Propriety is that perfection of style which comes when a work is authoritatively constructed on approved principles. It arises from prescription, from usage, or from nature.

Reality, like God and History, tends to direct people to wherever they want to go.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

Your actions reflect what you want for yourself and how much you love and value yourself. Your actions reflect how you see yourself, what you feel you deserve.

While man can still his body keep Wine or love drug him to sleep, Waking he thanks the Lord that he Has body and its stupidity.