Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good--and we all know how rare that is...

That person who declares that there is always something wrong is always doing something to make things wrong.

Women always have some mental reservation.

I loved laughing with him, loved that he could make me laugh.

First, accept sadness. Realize that without losing, winning isn't so great.

There are in life real evils enough, and it is folly to afflict ourselves with imaginary ones; it is time enough when the real ones arrive.

You are a real find and you keep me satisfied, up to a point. After all, I'm a malcontent and you can't change that.

Changeless society is characterized by the absense of alternatives.

A crime is a crime, regardless of what collar you wear.

I think it's better to have your personal life and your work life separate. That way they don't corrupt each other, so to speak.