Jeb Bush may run for President. Bush presidencies are like 'Caddyshack' movies. They should have stopped with one.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Childbirth is normal until proven otherwise.

You will achieve full success only if you will obey the Lord and do that which pleases Him

What good is treasure if I'm alone? After sharing so much of our dreams instead of sacrificing them and leaving with you. I would rather have nothing at all!

Every war when it comes, or before it comes, is represented not as a war but as an act of self-defense against a homicidal maniac.

There are always flowers for those who want to see them.

I think it's naive to pray for world peace if we're not going to change the form in which we live.

The election is not a time to discuss serious issues.

Your teammates give you the confidence. They give me the confidence all year, all postseason.

Judgment and weariness are foes to service and generosity.

Bullying is an evil because it not only destroys the life of the kid who's bullied, but also makes everyone in the class who knows this is going on feel guilty for not doing anything.