Jesse Joyce is a great writer.

Pre-mature ejaculation. Let's talk about it. Premature ejaculation. That's a pretty fancy term for, "Ooooooh Oh no. This has never happened before."

My gym has two-pound weights. If you're using two-pound weights, how did you even open the door to the gym? What's your dream? To pump up and open your mail?

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!

Let's say you're in a situation where crystal meth can help you. Like, I don't know, you have too many teeth.

Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk who wears a cape.

Don't get me wrong, I like to cuddle. But there is such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so that they can't get away.

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.

Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas.

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.

You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had?

This is an everyday question and you must take note of it always. When you wake up, it should be among your number one thoughts. What are you doing for others?

It is through the alignment of the body that I discovered the alignment of my mind, self, and intelligence.

The intelligent investor should recognize that market panics can create great prices for good companies and good prices for great companies.

The purpose of it all is love.

The alternative to extinction is stagnation, and stagnation is seldom a good thing.

There is no question that women helping women works for women.

Everything is beautiful in its own way.

I am, beneath everything else, a fan. I was fixed in this mode as a young boy and am awed by people who take the risks of performance.

He sparked on his body that reflect like mini mirrors of diamond

i happen to enjoy categorization.