Jim Bakker. He's lost everything, he's ruined. And the worst thing of all he still has to wake up to her!

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

I called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for three weeks! My friends, if you can come up with thirteen grand, you don't have a problem yet.

There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.

Obviously I'm not a role model for impressionable youth.

Every generation has someone who steps outside the norm and offers a voice for the unspeakable attitudes of that time. I represent everything that's supposed to be wrong, everything that's forbidden.

It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!

Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change.

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.

Lick the alphabet. It makes you appear creative, it's an easy diagram to remember, it's like "aaaaa.... beeeee.... ceeee.

Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.

The creative hopeless.

There are times in life when the best part of our life and the worst part seemingly coincide, especially those periods that demark commencement of significant personal transformation.

If you live at the same time as great contemporaries, you become a flower getting rain live.

Don't call me Alessandro, or this could get ugly. Oh, then may I call you Alice?

I seen the worst of the worst. I deserve every blessing I receive I'm from the dirt.

True joy is the earnest which we have of heaven, it is the treasure of the soul, and therefore should be laid in a safe place, and nothing in this world is safe to place it in.

If that's the kind of person you want, vote for Hillary [Clinton], vote for [Donald] Trump - and you go to hell with both of them.

You cannot eat your cake and have your cake.

A parade is the worst form of transportation known to man.