John Kerry said today that he wants to get rid of tax cuts for the rich and his wife said, 'Hey, shut up! What's the matter with you?! Are you nuts?!'

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

We must not only obtain Wisdom: we must enjoy her.

For when you look at the ceiling, or down at the floor, when the trouble's before you, you're begging for more.

Men are like dogs, " Stacy was fond of saying. And she usually went on to add that, like dogs, they all took up too much space on the bed, and they always went for the crotch.

I still love what I do and I've done OK over the years ... You're a long time retired and anyway, I'd get bored.

All that in this delightful garden grows should happy be and have immortal bliss.

For me, commitment boils down to honor.

I wish to have no connection with any ship that does not sail fast; for I intend to go in harm's way.

None are so poor that they have nothing to give...and none are so rich that they have nothing to receive.

Work as hard and as much as you want to on the things you like to do the best.

Where free unions and collective bargaining are forbidden, freedom is lost.