John Kerry spent the day reading to preschoolers ... and the kids said Kerry actually lacked warmth and failed to articulate a clear message.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

When you stop worrying about your problems and start praising God for His magnificent power you will experience His peace.

Innovation is the only bridge to mind digital gaps.

Cairo is in a state of becoming… We just don't know what it's becoming yet.

Nobody knows exactly what he's capable of until he tries!

That which is painful sharpens one's love.

The supreme form of cursedness is for the Lord to turn His back on you and bring judgment on you.

Such happiness is relative and is better called pleasure or satisfaction.

I have daughters who are writers and actors but no musicians.

You can take a school like the University of Colorado, with a selective admission standard. It has a better caliber student going in, so you ought to have a better caliber coming out.

I believe in prayer and in strong belief.