John Walker Lindh, a twenty-year-old American studying in Pakistan, was captured in Northern Afghanistan fighting for the Taliban. Experts call it the worst semester abroad program ever.

Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason.

Thank you, people who say 'Wow, you're really photogenic,' for not saying what you really mean: 'Wow, you're really ugly in person.'

Thank you... fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.

In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing.

The man who invented Doritos has passed away at the age of 97. He asked to be buried with the creator of Fritos and Cheetos in a variety pack.

I just really don't like being the center of attention that much. It's kind of ironic.

If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice.

I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot. And I'm your boyfriend.

Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? Plutonium hat model.

I don't shoot guns. I don't know how to do that. I grew Upstate New York, so I fought with my fists.

Don't believe everything you think. Thoughts are just that - thoughts.

You should avoid making yourself too clear even in your explanations.

Everything is held together with stories. That is all that is holding us together, stories and compassion.

It's up to you to avail yourself to knowledge. Knowledge doesn't need you. The idea of a compassionate God was formulated, obviously, by someone who didn't want to do any work.

I really don't know but I would quote for a book from JACQUELINE WILSON which is a very interesting book of her childhood.

There is only one thing Donald Trump is interested in, and that's Donald Trump.

When you walk in a saree, you must kick the pleats. It becomes more comfortable that way.

Historically Black Colleges and Universities, or HBCUs, have played an important role in enriching the lives of not just African Americans, but our entire country.

My school and my tribe are so poor and sad that we have to study from the same dang books our parents studied from. That is absolutely the saddest thing in the world.

Evil is a disease; and worry over disease is itself an additional form of disease, which only adds to the original complaint.