Journalism: an ability to meet the challenge of filling the space.

God forbid that any book should be banned. The practice is as indefensible as infanticide.

I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.

Motherhood is the strangest thing, it can be like being one's own Trojan horse.

The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots.

There is no logical reason why the camel of great art should pass through the needle of mob intelligence.

The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning.

All men should have a drop of treason in their veins, if nations are not to go soft like so many sleepy pears.

The trouble about man is twofold. He cannot learn truths which are too complicated; he forgets truths which are too simple.

The mind is its own enemy, that fights itself with the innumerable pliant and ineluctable arms of the octopus.

Writing has nothing to do with communication between person and person, only with communication between different parts of a person's mind.

Facts in books statistics in encyclopedias the ability to use them in men's heads.

Fairness is not an attitude. It's a professional skill that must be developed and exercised.

I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.

I'm sure that my parents' behavior has entered my work, I'm sorry to say. I don't think you need to have a difficult childhood to be funny, but it helps.

If I give Susan a new Cuisinart then she'll be happy ... If she's thankful to me, my life will be better ... she will do something for me.

Our value is the sum of our values.

If God had wanted us to talk more than listen, he would have given us two mouths rather than two ears.

Tough like a Ukulele.

If I were to put on Barbra Streisand and Duke Ellington, one might say the combination isn't good.

You drown him by your talk.