Journalist: A person with nothing on his mind and the power to express it.

An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious - just dead wrong.

The people who are always hankering loudest for some golden yesteryear usually drive new cars.

Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.

The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any.

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.

What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises.

In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one's beloved.

Americans like fat books and thin women.

A solved problem creates two new problems, and the best prescription for happy living is not to solve any more problems.

It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic.

To where? We don't know. To do what? We don't know either. No one tells us anything. We just follow orders.

Most people ask for happiness on condition. Happiness can only be felt if you don't set any condition.

Do not take up music unless you would rather die than not do so.

My little scam in April '85 went like this: Give me $50,000; here's some names of some people we've recruited.

I unfortunately don't have a stage name, I don't have a celebrity that I can hide behind, so every time I show my ID at an airport person or get carded at a bar, it's always interesting.

Champions keep going when they don't have anything left in their tank!

Universal violence compels the language to be mute . . . . Silence is not only a metaphor of Hemingway's work; it is also the source of its formal excellence, its integrity.

It's funny to be a critic.

A cat that jumps on a hot stove will never jump on a hot stove again. Neither will it jump on a cold stove.

I think it's because most of us talk one way and live another. There are a few people who truly, truly walk the talk.