Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

Slowly, Dana walked around the long table and stared at them. The moment stretched. They sent her encouraging smiles. “Okay, ” she announced, “I’m not gonna lie. This is freaking me out a little.

We just bought this house. It's too big. It's like 400,000 square feet, or something. We got an indoor lake and ski slope in the house! It's just too big.

The basic guarantees of our Constitution are warrants for the here and now, and unless there is an overwhelmingly compelling reason, they are to be promptly fulfilled.

Your face is a billboard advertising your philosophy of life!

I wanted to be a forensic scientist when I was younger. For a long time, I was studying because I wanted to do that sort of stuff.

Do not give sentence in another tribunal till you have been yourself judged in the tribunal of Justice.

I'm on Facebook and Twitter, and occasionally I will tweet something. Somehow my problem is that I don't think I have anything interesting to tweet about.

Generally speaking I would say I enjoy the smaller films more because there's a less sense of pressure and often the material is more unusual.

This is the first time I've ever played the Grammys. I finally passed the audition.

If someone had asked, How does this compare to kissing Kennedy? I would have answered, "Who?"