Just a tip if you have a big event to go to or an important meeting, if you cry enough your face swells up giving you a temporary lift.

When one door closes another door opens. Usually a refrigerator.

I've been called a racist before, and let me tell you something - that is harsh. That's a really ugly thing to call someone. That's like being called a Mexican.

My sister might be dumb, but that doesn't make her all that different from the rest of us. She's just like any other American. Except she's Canadian. And retarded.

Well I grew up in Canada in a really small town. We didn't have running water for a long time and we didn't have TV. Then when we did get TV we only had one channel.

You know, women are burdened with all this other crap all the time, like looking good. You need to be really superhuman to be successful as a woman.

I guess the biggest issue my husband and I are going to have is how do we raise the baby... because he's Jewish and I'm Protestant and the baby's father is Catholic.

I grew up in a mixed religious household. And it was volatile. My dad's atheist, my mom's agnostic. Just constant fighting. There's no God! There might be!

If you really are superior, you don't go around saying you're superior - unless you're Jewish.

I love my hunting dog. I loved my hunting dog - I'm not very good at hunting.

I don't think cops should wear mirrored sunglasses; the whole time the guy was chewing me out, all I could think was I should cut my bangs.

Roxanne Archer designed her strategy like a four-star general—or a stalker.

What’s the point of something virtual if it doesn’t end up being real?

You can’t expect to be who God wanted you to be if you don’t improve on upon your talents, abilities, and actions to the peak of the potentials you carry.

If I didn't have enormous dreams, I wouldn't have come this far!

Everyone lives a self-centered life...whether its trivial like what's for breakfast, or more ambitious, like achieving some lofty goal, a person is constantly on her own mind.

...freedom being the sauce best beloved by the boyish soul.

I am light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel, I am as merry as a schoolboy

In taking revenge upon our enemies, we are only even with them; in passing over their malice we are superior.

It is a reality. People are being victimized or are being targeted to be victims each and every day.

My man slangs rocks like up the block, 143RD and Amsterdam by the smoke shop