Just as you should never confuse the law with common justice, intelligence should not be confused with common sense. Some of the brightest people in the world have no idea how to cross the road.

There's not enough silliness in the world. Eurovision helps to keep it balanced.

Don't start drinking before the fifth song.

Television contracts the imagination and radio expands it.

Who knows what hellish future lies ahead? ... Actually, I do. I've seen the rehearsals.

I don't make the mistake of thinking it's a major musical event. I love the Eurovision Song Contest and it will continue long after I'm gone. Just please don't ask me to take it seriously.

The culture now in television is that the presenter calls the financial and, increasingly, the creative shots. It is comparable to what happened in Hollywood 15 or so years ago.

But they're laughing at you. They're not laughing with you.

Worried about a skin condition? Leap smartly into a bath of porridge.

I suppose I should make a little apology to Cyndi - although I'm not taking the blame for this - because I was the one who did say Cyndi had won.

A talk show is about having a look at a famous face, a bit of stand-up comedy, knockabout stuff - an interview is what Barbara Walters or Connie Chung does in the States, in-depth, done properly.

Dreamers Can.

Nobody calls me 'blondie' and keeps their kneecaps.

Worries are wasted energies.You can have a joyful life when you let go of your worries.

I never considered myself a songwriter, but now since I've been working with Nick Lowe, I am contributing to an extent. But I'm the guitarist and he's not, so we compliment each other in a way.

I am generally way out of touch with trends, except now and then I am surprised to find myself leading one, like sympathetic vampires.

The military is a machine of war. Not a law enforcement agency.

It's amazing how difficult it is for a man to understand something if he's paid a small fortune not to understand it.

I have no modesty. Modesty is a learned affectation. It's like decal stuck up on a person.

Take away leisure and Cupid's bow is broken

Gratitude’s got a short half-life, Clarice.