Just because i know how to change a guys oil doesn't mean i want to spend the rest of my life on my back, staring up his undercarriage.

You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."-

I shot that sucker right in the gumpy." Grandma Mazur

The 'Barnaby' books were always intended to be graphic novels.

I'm done with men. I have a hamster. That's all I need.

When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.

My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco.

Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.

-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-

Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.

Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.

These are my habits and the way I spend my life: studying literature.

You are all I ever need.

Nothing is cooler and more attractive than a big comeback, and that'll be me.

Don't talk to me about aesthetics or tradition. Talk to me about what sells and what's good right now. And what the American people like is to think the underdog still has a chance.

The good ruler sublimates his needs as an individual to the service of the nation.

I felt pretty confident in relieving myself, since I had the urge.

Hold on to your dreams, Kiall. They are more important than you realise.

Never treat your audience as customers, always as partners.

Night is not something to endure until dawn. It is an element, like wind or fire. Darkness is its own kingdom; it moves to its own laws, and many living things dwell in it.