Just because something makes you smile or laugh ... doesn't mean it's a joke.

Once you use a toothbrush to clean a pencil sharpener, you should no longer use it to clean your teeth.

I don't even drink Coke. It tastes like robot sweat.

I like to do things that are new, where I feel the sense of discovery.

I wanted to get paid to sharpen pencils originally just because I thought it would be fun.

I felt really conflicted about making money off stuff that's creatively satisfying.

The way you make money is to do something you don't like to do. And that's how you know you're a virtuous person.

Everyone has pencils in their house, no matter how hip and contemporary they are.

It would be amazing to tell my grandchildren, like, 'Yeah, I was paid to sharpen 1,000 pencils.'

The type of pop culture that is honestly very moving and powerful to me is [when artists] do their homework. They make it real.

I'd always been really intimidated by prose writing.

Unconditional conditions are sometimes conditioned to conditionally exist.

if... says: 'Do not be greedy, be generous', you may inwardly interpret this in such a manner that you will develop a greed for generosity

She said that in writing anything, you must be perfectly honest.

I'm grateful for my brokenness. I'm grateful for my humility.

Black Sabbath invented heavy metal, in my opinion.

Guys will definitely settle for women who get the joke. But a woman who can make you laugh? It's not high on a guy's must list. Perhaps it should be.

There are so many businesses that are succeeding on Yelp that don't pay us a dollar, and we're really excited about that.

it is far better to appreciate and not to possess, than to possess and not to appreciate.

The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters.

And you chose to fight for Artemis instead, what kind of stupid are you? (Jeff)