Just because you're a good caddie doesn't mean to say that you're the one that can put a player over the top. A good caddie doesn't necessarily help you've got to gel.

My Nan had a plastic hip put in, but I thought she should have replaced it with a Slinky, 'cause if she fell down the stairs again.

If you want me to come and caddie for you full time, you've got to sit down and do some hard work and do some hard yards because that's what I expect.

When you're told as a caddie we need to take a break, you're fired.

Obviously I'm very confident, not only on the golf course, when I race. I've always backed myself. I'm a very confident sort of person.

The reality is that these cases are happening all the time. It's when they get out of control that you have a problem.

Under most circumstances that would result in disqualification. If the rules of golf are upheld, I believe he should have been disqualified.

Getting the first win is very important. I think that takes a lot of pressure off going forward.

A headline last year, after the death of Saddam Hussein, read: 'Tyrant is hanged'. My auntie looked at the newspaper and sobbed, 'Who's going to present "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"'

Men wouldn't lie that much to the women in their life, if the women don’t ask so many questions.

There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.

Money is like muck - not good unless it be spread.

Just wear what you think looks beautiful.

As a child, I never wanted my parents to be unhappy, which meant that I would always contemplate what would make them happy.

A Jack Russell terrier? My god. He'll burn you up. They never stop. A German shepherd, you can only go so many miles.

Imagine the marvels we would experience if we believed in the things in which we don't believe.

Everything I tell you is a lie." -Vergere

If I'm going to do something a little bit more adult, I'll do it if it's going to be on at a different time slot or if it's going to be something that kids won't be able to get their hands on

What is life? A madness. What is life? An illusion, a shadow, a story. And the greatest good is little enough: for all life is a dream, and dreams themselves are only dreams.