Just because you saw a vampire doesn't mean that a snowman or a Loch Ness Monster also exists.

I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online.

We only hear success stories. You don't hear about the hundreds and hundreds - the overwhelming majority that don't go anywhere. This is a more realistic portrayal of what happens in startups.

The plan was always to come to America, because Pakistan's a scary place. They don't have religious freedom. It's very poor, and there's a lot of violence and corruption.

I think being funny had something to do with feeling like an outsider, not feeling cool - insecurity.

The whole religion of Islam is based on reward and punishment and reward and punishment, and it becomes a part of how you think of everything. Even yourself.

I thought of America as this crazy, happy, exciting place where everybody's rich and there's stuff everywhere. Compared to Pakistan, it's not untrue.

I was extremely shy and had a terrible fear of public speaking. But I had fallen in love with stand-up.

I am a very nerdy guy. I understand that it's easier to cast me as a nerdy guy than an action star - although I would love to be an action star!

It's not like I listened to music and then stopped. I still don't have a real appreciation for music because I didn't really start listening to it until my 20s.

I moved to New York first and was really apprehensive about moving to L.A., but I really, really like it.

The only tension that gets my attention, is when I stick a fork too close to my silver filling.

That's not FOR REAL.

If there seems no answers then create and apply them.

... see well how it often befalls that to rise to the topmost degree would make it seem that the abyss is on high.

The more chances you get, the more comfortable you feel. I?m ready to go out there if something happens. I?ll feel comfortable if I am ever called on.

I'm a fan of people getting together.

It's such a thrill to perform live. You never know if you're going to get hit with a bottle or a bra.

I think every person's parents teach them a lot and also mess them up royally.

People say to me, Would you like to swap your life with me for 24 hours? Your life must be very strange. But of course I have not experienced any other life. It's not strange to me.

Roy Jones still number one and it's gon' be that way baby! For all these doubters, him [points to Larry Merchant] and the rest of them that said Roy Jones is a fluke, now they know.