Just call in at the torturer on your way out. See when he can fit you in.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Knowledge rooted in experience shapes what we value and as a consequence how we know what we know as well as how we use what we know.

It is every Muslim's duty to fight those of a different belief until only Allah is worshipped around the world. Everybody has the opportunity to accept Allah and to change to the right path.

Your face makes my soul want to eat chocolate pudding!

Literary Party: A traffic jam of the lost waiting for the ferry across the Styx.

I suspected that there were things he knew that I had been waiting all my life to learn.

Given the nature of market, the chance of a crash is always greater than the chance of an overnight runaway euphoria.

What do drawings mean to me? I really don't know. The activity absorbs me. I forget everything else in a way that I don't think happens with any other activity.

'The Last Airbender' is genetically engineered for me. I love martial arts. I study it. The movie's based on a lot of Buddhist and Hindu philosophy. I was raised Hindu.

I grew up watching British comedy on TV, really.

What should such fellows as I do crawling between earth and heaven?