Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

The man in our society is the breadwinner; the woman has enough to do as the homemaker, wife and mother.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

To reveal your greatness, see the greatness in everyone. Ignore pettiness and forgive everyone.

There are three keys for your journey. Humility, wisdom, love. Don’t leave without them - they will enrich you all the way. And they will bless those around you.

Progress in the Christian life is exactly equal to the growing knowledge we gain of the Triune God in personal experience.

The accolade of your peers is very exciting, always. There's lots of good stuff on the ballot.

tis true that tho' People can transcend their Characters in Times of Tranquillity, they can ne'er do so in Times of Tumult.

The single greatest gift you could ever give the world is to be exactly who you are.

Woman must not accept; she must challenge.

Man has always been his own most vexing problem.

We not only need to work happy, we need to work at being happy.

Marriage is not for individual happiness, but for the welfare of the nation and the caste.