Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Love if mishandled spreads hatred and creates agony and chaos.

Once a friend, always a friend. Why should borders stop that?

I'm sometimes scared that I'm forgetting what my dad was like.

If there is such a things as "race", there is only the Human one.

President Obama seems to understand the Constitution as a 'set of suggestions.'

Be an example of what you teach. [As a personal trainer], delve into your student's life, know everything about him. Be interested.

A couple of flop plays, a death in the family, and it could all collapse.

A scientist is never certain. ... We absolutely must leave room for doubt or there is no progress and there is no learning.

We try to make earth-friendly decisions whenever we can, as it's part of our brand DNA.

What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.