Just when you think you have life by the tail, it's likely to whip around and take a hunk outta your balls.

Maybe curiosity did kill your cat. But it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on the neighbor's rottweiler just the same.

Even choosing the perfect dinner wine loses its earth-shattering importance if your guests happen to be cannibals, and you, the unsuspecting entree.

A pigs and pain, until you really get to know 'em. Then he's a paid with the soul.

Analyzing dreams is much like walking on water. There are a limited number of people who do it well.

Booze and boys, ain't nothing in the universe that'll make a girl stupid faster.

Maybe knowledge is power, but it's damned hard to think a burglar to death.

Some men are warriors and some men are weenies. The trick is figuring out which is which.

Maybe life does suck, Pork Chop, but it beats the hell out of the alternative.

There is no greater hell than realizing you're in love with the guy you hate.

You lose a couple of pounds and get a guy good and drunk, you could have a hell of a good time even if you are not smart.

A prayerless Christian is like a bus driver trying alone to push his bus out of a rut because he doesn't know Clark Kent is on board.

If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about yourmistakes, learn from them.

There was no point in doing art if you were going to be second-rate.

I just want to live my life the best way I can and enjoy the moment that I have off the court because you need to find a good balance. I think this is very important.

And, cuts in education, scientific research and the rest are harmful, and they are what are affected by the sequestration.

There's such a thing as too much happiness and sadness. What I'm after is contentment.

Any captain can only do his best for the team and for cricket. When you are winning, you are a hero. Lose, and the backslappers fade away.

I'm in a comic book now. That was cool. That's something that I'm still sorta reeling about, 'cause I read comics as a kid. Someone drew me, and actually did a pretty good job!

Guys don't seem to think this, but the stuff that girls talk about is more raunchy than what guys talk about in a football lockeroom.