Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.

There should be competition and exchanges between different countries, but there are certainly certain universal values, and that is freedom and democracy.

Eternity doth wear upon her face the veil of time. They only see the veil, and thus they know not what they stand so near!

It's time to believe in what you know.

The life we receive is not always what we choose.

All moral obligation resolves itself into the obligation of conformity to the will of God.

I think the best thing about being dumb is that it makes magic a lot better. Where the hell did that rat come from? I dunno, but I'm calling the cops because he just cut that lady in half.

[About Paz De La Huerta....] And there is this girl in the audience and she's gorgeous I can only kind of see her silhouette and she's getting like her t*ts out and I'm like: God, that's unusual.

I think it was Fran Lebowitz who said that there are no writing prodigies. You have to have something to write about.

I grew up watching British comedy on TV, really.

Music is the only thing in the world that can block out madness, and can be consumed in the sadness, for it helps the soul survive even if only for a short time.