Knowin' all about baseball is just about as profitable as bein' a good whittler.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

I deny morality as I deny alchemy.

Suddenly, and for the first time, he was at the center of his own life, living it and loving it.

I dyed my hair blonde when I was 14. My mom was not happy. But I love being blonde.

A business like acting is 90% luck. You can be a star one minute and out of work the next

In Europe, I always have fun bike riding in Amsterdam.

We are trying to persuade all the Iraqi opposition to come breathe freedom in Iraq and use liberated Kurdistan as a base for our common struggle.

I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.

Reflect that life, like every other blessing, Derives its value from its use alone.

For pity's sake, don't start meeting troubles halfway.

Not our Logical, Mensurative faculty, but our Imaginative one is King over us; I might say, Priest and Prophet to lead us heavenward; or Magician and Wizard to lead us hellward.