LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Belief has nothing to do with facts, especially for the unbelievable facts.

Once you decide to grow out the roses from your heart, and let it spread the roots all over. you should also start to learn to handle the thorns that grow out of their stem.

Never concede to evil…. When we concede to evil, even in a small way, we feed it, and it grows stronger.

My feelings are a fact, not a personal delusion. They are valid for me. What business have you got trying to tell me how I ought to feel?

Are you okay?" Kelly cried."I shot dinner, " Nick said.Kelly snorted. "Look, Hannibal, you can shoot back if they 're shooting at you, but it's still not okay to eat them afterward.

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.

I don't think anyone is black and white and I think we change our minds and our attitudes about certain things as we grow to our maturity.

The real moment of success is not the moment apparent to the crowd.

It's gonna be short if it's news; put it at the top. Style's not an issue, just make it news.

It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months.