LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Pride costs nothing, yet it is especially precious when it can be “purchased” at someone else’s expense.

Control what you can control.

I love sci-fi, computer games. I love any escapes. Give me them all.

The only thing I really wanted to be was a beatnik, and look what happened: I ended up being in a band.

People really do like seeing their best friends humiliated; a large part of the friendship is based on humiliation; and that is an old truth,well known to all intelligent people.

I do not wish to kill nor to be killed, but I can foresee circumstances in which these things would be by me unavoidable.

I play every game like it's going to be my last.

America is facing some major threats. Cyber warfare, Islamic terror and Russia, does it sound terrible? It sounds like the end of the world.

Hope for the best is what we do, right from the moment we're born.

Now people ask whether photography is art, but I think the question is of absolutely no interest.