Ladies & Gentelman, the man who tought William Kennedy Smith everything he knows about dating, Sweet Stan Lane!

I got this bad allergy - I'm allergic to bullshit.

The saddest moment in a child's life is not when he learns that Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns that Vince Russo is.

Rick Steiner is so stupid, he once stayed up all night to study for a urine test.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Vince Russo has been there in which case the grass is most likely dead.

Rick Steiner is so stupid, it takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.

Vince Russo destroyed the Periodic Table as he only recognises the element of surprise.

I heard last year at [insert name]'s birthday party they had to set up mirrors to make it look like a crowd.

Hulk Hogan, you may be a household word, but so is garbage, and it stinks when it gets old too.

I like to take advantage of the simple-minded because I can.

Eventually, even a blind squirell will find an acorn.

Here, in this quiet place we own, worlds are born.

Eternity is a long time to spend alone, without others of your kind.

After all the black man has been through in this world, he can still often reach levels of spirituality the most pampered white man cannot touch. Maybe what he's been through is the reason why.

Actors put ourselves in awkward positions all the time.

Being self-supporting is important to me.

I am the one rich thing that morn Leaves for the ardent noon to win; Grasp me not, I have a thorn, But bend and take my being in.

Knowledge is only useful if you do something with it.

I want the scripts Leonardo DiCaprio doesn't have time for. Joseph Gordon-Levitt isn't available? Call me.

Conciseness is underrated

Maybe I don't have the most common kind of motor neuron disease, which usually kills in two or three years.