Ladies, if you want a happy marriage, then do whatever your husband tells you without questioning his authority.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

The big problem is not whether the Bible is true. The big problem is whether it is true in you.

Of course I was delighted the flight was over, but I still had to worry about cleaning up inside the cabin, I had to worry about the hatch, how to get in the sling, and so on.

We've got crazy little sites going up against established media behemoths.

A family is a family not because of gender but because of values, like commitment, trust and love.

In my hometown of Chicago, I'm kind of a medium deal.

Have you ever felt like you could cry because you know you just heard the most important thing anybody in the world could have spoke at that second?

People gravitate toward information that implies a happier outlook for them.

The honors of this world, what are they but puff, and emptiness, and peril of falling?

Probably death is the best invention of life.

I would love to come to Auckland. That's a place I've been quite a lot with my band so I'm very much looking forward to it.