Lady, if you laugh and you don't make a noise, you're a shaker, and it's freaking me out.

Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.

Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.

I don't fail. I succeed at finding out what doesn't work.

Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.

The normal make a living. The deranged make history.

I think when you sit alone with your brain too much, your own brain starts to rebel against you.

Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, Booty - mmm mmm.

I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos.

Anyone can have a relationship but if you're dating a woman who's so crazy in bed that if you aren't wearing your Kevlar one night you might never see daylight again... that's exciting.

The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?

Please stop. If you keep chipping off little pieces of my heart, soon there will be no heart left with which to love you.

If teachers are uncomfortable at their own school, they will pass on their uncertainties or negative attitude to students.

When we drop fear, we can draw nearer to people, we can draw nearer to the earth, we can draw nearer to all the heavenly creatures that surround us.

The most obvious thing you can't do with a guitar synthesizer is to really sound like a guitar.

They are presented attractively for the same reason that kittens are cute - so that they can draw you in, then pounce on you for the kill. Seriously. Stay away from kittens.

I never set out to write a certain kind of song, I just play my guitar and see if I catch something.

We must want for others, not ourselves alone.

Thought is metaphoric, and proceeds by comparison, and the metaphors of language derive therefrom.

As her eyes scanned his face, he feared that she saw everything, right down t the core of him. Where his obsession with her was the strongest. -Butch and Marissa

Never complain about the officiating. It does no good. During the game I don't want to be fighting two opponents.