Language is the most elementary aspect to our humanness, probably. In addition to that, it's the embodiment, it's the apotheosis of the human experience, it's the way we summarize ourselves.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

A psycho murderer who lubed. How considerate.

I'm fine, " Kate said. "In fact, since my last two dates were so awful, things can only get better.""Bad deduction, " Jessie said. "If that were true, I'd be dating Harrison Ford by now.

He had a big head and a face so ugly it became almost fascinating.

When emotion supersedes reason ... gullibility must follow.

The Macintosh may only have 10% of the market, but it is clearly the top 10%.

Research universities need excellent means to communicate and express their results to regular people.

I kind of lost interest in school. I was never really that interested anyway. I was never academic. I didn't really go to school as much as I should have.

Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons.

My regular life today is reading books, making dolls houses, sewing dolls with my daughter and barbequing.

If I've learned anything in my 30s, it's about holding back a little bit.