Last night I went out for Chinese. I picked up a Team USA Olympic uniform.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

Though such authority and respect shouldn't be handed to all and sundry, have in caution's innermost room a confidant, a faithful mirror, whose correction you value when disillusionment is necessary.

I ain't got no money, I ain't got no car to take you on a date, I can't even buy you flowers, but together we'll be the perfect friend.

The worst government is often the most moral. One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.

The first act of love is always the giving of attention.

No story ever really ends, and I think I know why.

We don't need more Hindus, more Christians, or more Muslims - we need more Buddhas, more Jesuses, and more Krishnas - then there will be true change. Every human being has that inner potential.

I mean my father was killed when I was six. And I only have tiny, tiny flashes of memory.

To be a manager requires more than a title, a big office, and other outward symbols of rank. It requires competence and performance of a high order.

I always joke and say I want to invent a comfortable stiletto and then retire.

Just the type of music that was around at the same time as I was writing. Some of it was wicked, definitely. But there was just one direction which I thought could be pushed that no one was pushing.