Last week, I had to offer my publisher a bottle that was far too good for him simply because there was nothing between the insulting and the superlative.

People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news.

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed.

Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one.

The primary requisite for writing well about food is a good appetite.

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.

The function of the press in society is to inform, but its role in society is to make money.

Inconsiderate to the last, Josef Stalin, a man who never had to meet a deadline, had the bad taste to die in installments.

The world isn't going backward, if you can just stay young enough to remember what it was really like when you were really young.

The only way to write is well and how you do it is your own damn business.

Any city may have one period of magnificence, like Boston or New Orleans or San Francisco, but it takes a real one to keep renewing itself until the past is perennially forgotten.

Who you are is why you choose poorly, or fail to choose wisely.

I'm missing some people, you know, and this is not nostalgia. I miss them. This is melancholy.

Metaphysical fallacies contain the only clues we have to what thinking means to those who engage in it.

Government doesn't work. That's the first lesson we must learn if we want to improve society.

The best mother is the mother who adapts, and the best children are the children who adapt as well.

Truthfully, I love all animals.

I'm easy to hate. I get it.

If anything, there's more at stake when you're older, and more responsibility and more legitimate things to worry about.

So each had a private little sun for her soul to bask in; some dream, some affection, some hobby, or at least some remote and distant hope.

Government has a legitimate sphere of operation. The problem arises when that sphere continually expands, encompassing areas where government lacks legitimacy.