Last week I lost my temper in my karate class. Man, I'm not doing that again until I'm a black belt. Because I can tell you there's a difference between taking karate and receiving karate.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

In the same way you can find God in the beauty of nature, you can find God in the beauty of the destitute. We're not meant to just admire the trees, we're meant to share life.

You may not find the opportunity to succeed, but you can always find the opportunity to serve. Then serve to succeed.

Making and thinking about somebody is special... you go in the tracks of saying that you are horrible and not anymore special.

Be honest about who you are, and you will understand the reasons for the people you keep in your life.

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.

It's easy for people to mistake most musicians as living the easy life. It takes a while to get to that point. I'm sure it's like that for acting and television.

Sometimes I'll listen to a little old Van Halen, or some Beatles, Zeppelin stuff, classical music... I like a lot of different things.

Listen, if you're not going to be a nun or something, you might as well laugh.

I've sort of grown into my cuteness.

The aim of education should be to preserve and nurture the yearning for learning that a child is born with.