Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I'll be damned if Rick Perry didn't take me up on that.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Maybe its because i rejoice over what i have and don't grieve over what i don't have".

It's too late.I chose life too late.

Simple shapes are inhuman. They fail to resonate with the way nature organizes itself or with the way human perception sees the world.

. . . when you are stressed, if you take three deep breaths before you say or do anything, this will help prevent you from making choices you might regret later.

I think there's something about the Irish experience - that we had to have a sense of humor or die.

Only an armed people can be truly free. Only an unarmed people can ever be enslaved.

The American people as a whole are really pretty moderate. They're not, as a whole, conservative or liberal. The right wing is marching the Republican Party off a cliff.

If you do your work, eventually there will be a spark. A fire. A blaze.

Crazy Curran ranked right up there with monsoons, tornadoes, earthquakes, and other natural disasters.

Actors do have good and bad sides. It's because the passage down the birth canal distorts the face. People born by caesarean section are more symmetrical.