Late-night television is like the cereal aisle in the supermarket: too many choices. Also, too many 'different' brands that really aren't different at all.

"More fun than a barrel of monkeys." Has anyone ever stopped to think how cranky, if not downright vicious, a barrelful of monkeys would be, especially once released from the barrel?

People of a certain age look back on the Mayberry of 'The Andy Griffith Show' and become almost as homesick for that simple fictional hamlet as they do for their own home towns.

A fellow with the inventiveness of Albert Einstein but with the attention span of Daffy Duck.

The fault is in our stars, dear Brutus: not the glass screen through which we see them.

Crime dramas will never go away as long as people turn to television for, among other things, reassurance and comfort.

Gimmicks come and go; the cop show seems one genre that will never leave - not as long as people like to sit at home in the suburbs and see what awful things go on in the cities.

In the 500-channel universe, which may, of course, contain many more channels than 500, the fun never stops - fun at such a fever pitch as to sometimes seem threatening, numbing, even agonizing.

Like sugar and, oh - let's say the most tabloidy and gossipy reality television programs - credit is, for millions, genuinely addictive.

If the networks can get audiences to tolerate pop-up promos by the dozens, maybe they'll start selling pop-up commercials, too.

By a twist of fate rather than anything approaching journalistic enterprise, I did the last major interview with Johnny Carson.

You are a cynical man, Mr. Pleasant.""We live in cynical times, Miss Cain.

Life is too short not to eat raw and it's even shorter if you don't.

She heard the snuffle of hypocrisy in her prayer. She had to cease to pray.

Our success as consultants will depend upon the essential rightness of the advice we give and our capacity for convincing those in authority that it is good.

Psychologically, when you've been overweight you want to achieve the polar opposite.

My goal has always been to just kind of show how my family, we might be a different culture, but we're completely like everybody else.

The inner cities, education is almost worthless, it's horrible. We're going to have Common Core ended.

This dream of our youth will fade out as the splendor Fades from the skies when the sun sinks to sleep.

As an actor and director, you have to take risks, even though I don't like saying that word. You can make a mistake.

What brought me to L.A. was work! I moved to Chicago after college - I went to Kalamazoo - did my nerd thing, graduated, and moved to Chicago to pursue improv.