Late to bed, late to rise, makes a man unhealthy, poor, and stupid.

If you were starving and had all the time in the world, would you stop eating the greatest slice of cake on earth halfway through? Then why would you quit on your dreams?

Sometimes standing up for what you believe means standing down and allowing the universe to do its work.

Politicians study hard and work diligently their entire lives to be able to stand in front of a national audience and lie through their teeth.

I can say with unwavering certitude that I have never started a pint of Ben 'n Jerry's ice cream that I didn't finish in its entirety within 6 minutes.

The bigger the words the weaker the voice.

To find meaning in our lives we need consistent exposure to kids, elders and animals... cuz kids and animals aren't looking for it, and elders are the closest to finding it.

The short-lived crash and burn of an eternal optimist is far more deeply felt than the day-to-day misery of an eternal pessimist.

There are two types of people in this world: Those who make it their life's work to rid themselves of all pain and suffering... and Artists.

I don't write comedy. I write drama that's funny.

I love cheetahs. Every moment of every day is spent in fear of dying a terrible death yet they always carry themselves elegantly, remain loyal to their family, and never complain about anything.

I don't think that God says, "Go to church and pray all day and everything will be fine." No. For me God says, "Go out and make the changes that need to be made, and I'll be there to help you.

I can't help it. You bring it out in me, " he accused. "No, " I said. "You're choosing to let me get to you. Don't. It's all in the mind.

Hey GR, for the others that feel alone. I think you will find comfort in knowing that:Everybody's Somebody's Everything. I know I'm right.

People start to talk about post-racist, post-feminist. What does that mean? We're clearly not post either. Would you say post-democracy? Clearly we haven't reached true democracy yet.

Wraith rubbed his hands together in cheesy horror-movie glee. “Join us or die.” He grinned. “I’ve always wanted to say that.

Each conquest of distance reveals greater distance.

Neither left nor right has focused adequately on maternal health

When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream.

The good news is your surgery was a success and now you look like a movie star! The bad news is that movie star is Drew Carey!

We are all unconsciously in search of love. Whenever we feel its presence in our environment, we can't help but be drawn to it. There is no more compelling energy in the world.