Laugh and the world laughs with you snore and you sleep alone.

Find out what you like doing best, and get someone to pay you for it.

Why do born-again people so often make you wish they'd never been born the first time?

Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing?

It is a pity that so often the only way to treat girls like people seems to be to treat them like boys.

There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a hand-gun than a packet of cigarettes.

A good listener is not someone with nothing to say. A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.

The main purpose of children's parties is to remind you that there are children more awful than your own.

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why.

The disease is painless; it's the cure that hurts.

Any committee that is the slightest use is composed of people who are too busy to want to sit on it for a second longer than they have to.

Christmas is the spark within our hearts that ignites as each day grows closer and burns brightly with the promise of compassion, love and generosity of spirit.

I want to produce with people that are going to be on the charts and win Grammys because having regular old street songs is cool, but I did all that already.

All is pattern, all life, but we can't always see the pattern when we're part of it.

I don't love the word luxury because it feels Bougy to me.

Complaining not only ruins everybody else's day, it ruins the complainer's day, too. The more we complain, the more unhappy we get.

A person in the business of defending criminal cases is going to live in controversy all of his or her life.

You have to accept the way things are before you can move on.

The ultimate [travel destination] for me would be one perfect day in San Francisco. There's no city like it anywhere. And, if I could be there with the girl of my dreams, that would be the ultimate!

I think that an act of love is immortal; once tendered, it can never really be taken back.

I'll ride my bike all the stinkin' way to school for the rest of eternity if it means being with her. -Bryce