Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry -- and the world laughs harder.

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

Often in life those seemingly ordinary moments hold the most extraordinary meaning.

Since the nineteen-fifties, rural Florida has marketed itself to Northerners and Midwesterners as an unexplored paradise of citrus and mermaids.

I think it's easy to stop smoking; it's just hard not to commit a felony after you stop.

Remember that you have a choice in what you see. If you choose to see a person's darkness, you strengthen your darkness within. If you choose to see their light, you shine from the inside out.

Men are said to desire women, Severian. Why do they despise the women they obtain?

It is the loving, not the loved, woman who feels loveable.

University is sheltered from the business world and they think they should not have any connection with the businesses because maybe the business is dirty or not very good.

Women aren't interested in being sexy any more and men are. All the guys have objectified themselves and sexualised themselves into being just matinee idols.

His lips soften into a smile that cracks apart my spine. He repeats my name like the word amuses him. Entertains him. Delights him. In seventeen years no one has said my name like that

Every job has its pros and cons. The NFL just has more of both.