Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.

Having signed a few autographs in my time, I always wonder what the heck people do with them.

Ringo isn't the best drummer in the world. He isn't even the best drummer in the Beatles

They put up this bloke's picture on Crimewatch UK with a phone number and said 'Have you seen this man?' Well my auntie rang them up and said 'No'.

I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for.

There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chase with Pamela Anderson.

I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfaction in life is difficult. Maybe being happy is as simple as not being unhappy.

I have that working class fear of having nothing. I've always got one eye on what's in the bank.

Happiness to me is simply not being unhappy.

I have to confess here that I am a useless cook.

I've always been sensible with my money. I can't say I'm a business genius.

Damn me to hell or take me to heaven, but for Gods sake, do it now....

If you will reach your dream land as sooner as possible you have to leave everything behind and fix your eyes on one thing

It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

I have made six big home moves in my life and I have never lost money on one I have lived in.

For me there's a need for balance - fulfilling the sensitive side, letting my guard down, holding back the warrior in me. And I have to be vulnerable which is very hard for me to do.

I don't think anything is unrealistic if you believe you can do it. I think if you are determined enough and willing to pay the price, you can get it done.

I don't think any day is worth living without thinking about what you're going to eat next at all times.

She studied him for a few more seconds. “You look too pretty to be useful.” I gasped in spite of myself. Adrian chuckled and shook her hand. “Truer words were never spoken,” he said.

Oatcakes are a delicate relish when eaten warm with ale.

I don't think in terms of failure....I don't feel like anyone outside of me should be setting limitations. People should be encouraged to shoot for the moon.