Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.

Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.

Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.

I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.

I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.

I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.

Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?

Where are all the sour patch parents?

The ocean does not lose its splendor because it lost a few drops.

The limit of impossible lies possibility.

The United States always seems to have a way of playing the international cop of the world.

When I'm sitting at the desk not being able to write line one, it's silence and despair! It's not so easy to put the pen to the legal pad or type the first sentence on the computer screen.

Like a lot of people, for a long time I thought that the road to hell is paved with bad sequels.

The hand is where the mind meets the world.

My old manager of the Irish National Theatre said 'Don't worry about being a star, just worry about being a working actor. Just keep working.' I think that's really good advice.

I played because I loved it. It was incredible when they told me they were going to sign me and they were going to give me money.

It's time that we began to laugh and cry and cry and laugh about it all again.

Success is creating a state of mind that allows you to obtain anything you really desire.