Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.

Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.

Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.

Nothing in a graduate degree in art history prepares you for the eloquence of the eraser.

Understanding who we are, where we came from, and why we are upon the earth places upon each of us a great responsibility both to learn how to learn and to learn to love learning.

The noise from good toast should reverberate in the head like the thunder of July.

The greatest danger for artists is total freedom.

The biggest stories in 2005 were the national disasters

I've loved the Internet space in terms of creative content control and ownership, the things I haven't had since I started as a stand-up comedian.

Prince Charles is very relaxed at the table, throwing his salad around willy-nilly. I didn't find him stiff at all.

I began imagining scenes in public which some drunk would come up to me and slap me in the face. Nothing like that ever happened, but I often wonder if I would have turned the other cheek

When the life is monotonous , even grief is a welcome event.

Sometimes if you have financial restraints, it's a benefit. It forces you to come up with a more creative way.