Laughter ispleasant, butthe exertion istoomuchfor me.

There are two reasons for drinking wine...when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it... prevention is better than cure.

Seamen three! what men be ye? Gotham's three Wise Men we be. Whither in your bowl so free? To rake the moon from out the sea. The bowl goes trim. The moon doth shine, And our ballast is old wine.

Clouds on clouds, in volumes driven, curtain round the vault of heaven.

The juice of the grape is the liquid quintessence of concentrated sunbeams.

The waste of plenty is the resource of scarcity.

He kept at true good humor's mark The social flow of pleasure's tide: He never made a brow look dark, Nor caused a tear, but when he died.

Marriage may often be a stormy lake, but celibacy is almost always a muddy horsepond.

The mountain sheep are sweeter, But the valley sheep are fatter. We therefore deemed it meeter To carry off the latter.

I never failed to convince an audience that the best thing they could do was to go away.

Sir, I have quarrelled with my wife; and a man who has quarrelled with his wife is absolved from all duty to his country.

It's because the door hasn't been closed yet that the nightmares still find their way in.

Harper to your word be trueHolder, crafter you also hewTo honesty, integrity, and respectAll others without regard to intellect

Writing is the only way I have to explain my own life to myself.

The Internet Was Made For Business

I started DJing, breakdancing and MCing in the '70s and I got my record deal in 1979 with 'Christmas Rap.'

Do not jump the gun because of gossip.

married was the loneliest I got - being without the one you're with.

The Republicans are calling the Democrats' plan to have a deadline for US troop withdrawal from Iraq an 'admission of failure', as opposed to the Republican plan which is 'failure without admission'.

If you believe in what you're doing, you're going to make money. When you question it, you won't.

Time does not act on memory to soften the edges, blur the details; if anything, it sharpens them. Emotions may lose their acid outlines, but not places and people, not if you wish to retain them.